If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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