So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
farters have to be the big spoon...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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