dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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