I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Houston, we have a squirter
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
