Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
