You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize