I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
