Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
