This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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