Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
