sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
