sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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