just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
