Hey man sorry I got all grabby
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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