Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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