On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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