Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize