Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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