we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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