My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
