dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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