Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
