Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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