just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
