I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize