I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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