well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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