Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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