that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
