Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
