I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you inspire me to be a worse person
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
