is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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