I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
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I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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