so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
