He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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