I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
