You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
