the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
