I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
