There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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