Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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