i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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