Sacagawea was the original milf.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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