Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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