i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
