i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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