Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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