btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my nose is crying tears of wow.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize