i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
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We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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