It was confusing and full of hummus
We got so high we made milksteak
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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