I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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