Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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