People in love make me want to vomit
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
