no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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