I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
