when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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