i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
