guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Randomize
