dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I want to have your abortion
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
and you fell through a lawn chair
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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