its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
