I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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