I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
