get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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