You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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