If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She made me pour olive oil on her.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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